Lost in the corporate jungle !!

It is a year since I have come to this space ...the longest gap from blogging I guess... it is a sad fact that I am not getting time to do all the stuff that I used to enjoy earlier... blogging... jewellery making (yeah I took to this in the year long gap and stopped it too :-( )... most of all chatting with old friends... people have just stopped calling me... don't blame them much when I don't call them either ... only my good old pulu still has some hope left in me I guess ... she pings me ... prods me to reply ... or downright makes ISD calls n scolds me ... it feels good nevertheless to have such a die-hard friend who has faith n patience in you even if you yourself do not have....God bless u Pulu !! I will remember to get a very good gift for your wedding :-D

I wanted to blog on Dasavadharam but I guess my creative juices aren't really doing their magic now ..maybe because it is 12:00 am now ... so let me just write whatever strikes me...

The whole year has been a chaotic combination of anger,helplessness,love,learning and maturity... anger & helplessness at work...love at home...and the other two I would say in both the places... Work has been something like carrying a heavy rock on my shouders... whether it will make me or break me is still a big enigma !! at times I feel like quitting and I know I have all the support in the world at home.... but then I think ... is it really so hard here or am I over reacting ... well.. this question keeps coming back to me every minute I am in the office... Whatever it is making me... it is making me stronger in some ways ...

Writing after some 4 more days in the office cauldron ... I am not able to believe what is happening to me... the sense of achievement that comes after accomplishing something ... after seeing something that you help build out there in the network .. used by people around you... is lost ... That happiness can never be brought back when the boss comes back and tells you it could never have been achieved without him ... Ha ha !! If I had not been so angry I would have laughed aloud!!

There is something necessarily evil in the things around here ... I guess the bosses forgot to listen to the Moral sciences class in school !!

As somebody said "A competitive world has two possibilities for you. You can lose. Or, if you want to win, you can change" ...

If it is competition that I have to deal with ... hey .. thats fine !!

But what would you do if the world around is bent on pulling you down , destroying your confidence and also pulls the strings in the puppet show that is your life ?

Signing off
Sundari

Comments

Anks said…
hey... you definitely seem troubled... hope things will improve...
11:29 PM
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